Riverdale usually likes to throw us into the thick of its chaos right away. That’s not what happened this season. Instead, last week’s premiere was a genuine and touching tribute to Luke Perry. As a result, this episode feels much more like what the Season 4 premiere was originally planned to be. Jughead narrates the end of summer vacation and the beginning of school, including the fact that Archie is busy with “what he does best.” Which is… (checks notes) still boxing. Sorry, between music and football and this, it’s hard to keep track of what exactly it is this kid does best.
As always, Archie’s pre-back to school ritual is the most normal of the cast. Veronica is getting questioned about her father’s illegal dealings, and Cheryl is talking to her brother’s corpse. Even still, there is a brief bit of normalcy between the main cast on the last night of summer. They sit around talking about the year ahead before making out and… well, we can’t get too far into the season without a gratuitious sex scene, can we? That might be the last bit of normal they see for a while anyway. All four oversleep, and are greeted by a new, incredibly strict principal named Mr. Honey. Because he’s replacing Mr. Weatherbee. Get it? He also has a run-in with Cheryl and Toni, who argue in favor of holding a school dance. Honey refuses.
Madelaine Petsch as Cheryl and Skeet Ulrich as FP Jones — Photo: Colin Bentley/The CW
There’s a ton going on in this episode, which makes sense. Though it started with the characters all together, they all have their own diverging stories now. This episode’s job was to set each one in motion for the season. Or half-season as the case may be. We never know whether Riverdale will switch things up on us halfway through. Most of them are standard Riverdale melodrama. Cheryl is trying to keep the dead body she’s hiding a secret from Toni… while planning an alternate school dance at her house. Great idea, there. Veronica is hounded by paparazzi (with film cameras, for some reason), and someone has been leaking to the tabloids that she committed the crimes her dad went away for. And there’s Betty and her FBI brother hunting down the Farm. We’ll get to that later.
The one storyline that made me super nervous was Reggie’s. It starts out fun, with Archie getting Mad Dog on the football team (so yes, he still does that too). Mad Dog outshines Reggie on the field, and his dad calls him over in the middle of practice to berate him and slap his helmet. Later, when he shows up at Veronica’s speakeasy, he has a black eye. It’s clear his dad does plenty of hitting while the helmet’s off too. Look, I’m all on board when Riverdale wants to get goofy and out there. Cults, Phantom of the Opera-style murders, tabletop RPG-induced suicides, that’s all fine. I do not trust this show to handle an abusive parent storyline. It has not shown itself capable of handling topics anywhere near this level of serious. Especially when it gets brought up out of nowhere four seasons in. Remember in Season One when they just handwaved away a serial statutory rapist storyline and it was the worst? I sure do!
If there is a bright side, it looks like they’re not going to drag it out even as long as they did that story. I’m not a fan of wrapping up an abuse storyline in one episode with a neat little bow, but it beats watching the show mishandle it week after week. So how do they bring this story to a resolution? With a Ferris Bueller’s Day Off homage. Yes, really. With Archie’s help, Reggie trashes his dad’s fancy red car of unspecified make. But whereas in Ferris, the car was like a character. The story made it important. It was the source of all Cameron’s anxiety and a metaphor for his relationship with his father. That’s why it meant so much when Cameron dented it, then accidentally sent it flying out the window.
This car has no such meaning on Riverdale. The throwaway line of “sometimes I think he loves this car more than me” is the limpest attempt to give it some. God, this whole storyline annoyed me so much. Hey, child abuse is just like your favorite ’80s teen comedy, and just as easily solved! Does Riverdale’s target audience even know what Ferris Bueller is? I do love this show, but this whole storyline was trash. And not the good kind that Riverdale normally is.
Fortunately, the rest of the episode wasn’t anywhere near that bad. Betty’s work with her FBI brother is intriguing, and I hope it turns out better than the last time this show tried an FBI story. This episode involves a redemption arc for Kevin. I hope that’s truly what it is. After years of Kevin hanging out in the background, he finally got his own story, and it was being a brainwashed cult member dragging Betty to have a lobotomy. Kevin Keller deserves better than that, and I hope this season gives it to him. This episode seems to get him to a better place. At first, he’s still partially controlled by the cult, trying to deliver information about Betty’s investigation to Joaquin. Betty and Chip catch him and interrogate him, but he really doesn’t know anything. He’s just trying to get close to the guy he loves. Well OK, then.
Betty decides to take a chance on him, telling him the truth about their undercover asset inside the Farm. Chip is angry at first, since she’s seemingly put the whole investigation at risk. Kevin comes through, though. He delivers the fake information to Joaquin, gets a good look at The Farm, and reports back to Chip. It turns out Edgar Evernever is stockpiling weapons. He’s preparing for a war. That’s an unsettling detail to leave us with. More importantly, I really do hope this means we’ll be seeing more of Kevin in the story. And not in an evil cult member kind of way.
The other two stories weren’t given as much time, but they didn’t need it. That’s why, outside of that awful Reggie storyline, this episode worked as well as it did. It started a few arcs that’ll carry the rest of the season, and didn’t drag them out or give them short shrift. Veronica found out her dad was the one leaking information to the tabloids, so she comes up with a very Veronica solution. She takes control of the story, admitting to doing the bad things, but only under duress of her father. Of course, she makes all the reporters watch her perform “All That Jazz” from Chicago before giving her press conference. As a former theatre kid, I get it. You have a captive audience, milk it for all it’s worth. That whole sequence put a huge smile on my face and successfully washed away the bad taste Reggie’s story left in my mouth.
Camila Mendes as Veronica, Lili Reinhart as Betty and Cole Sprouse as Jughead — Photo: Colin Bentley/The CW
Then there’s Jughead, who had the least consequential story of the episode… for now. It seems simple enough on the surface. A story he wrote gets him into a prestigious private school that’s a literature magnet. He’s reluctant to leave Riverdale High, but he can’t help but love the place when he takes a tour. Especially when the first thing he does is attend an analysis of his favorite book, Moby Dick. He feels stimulated and appreciated, and upon his return to Riverdale High, he’s bored by the basic Shakespeare lesson. Betty realizes this and tells him to go to the fancy school. Right now, it feels like the most basic story of the episode.
Then the show does another flash-forward to spring. We remember that Jughead is going to go missing and possibly die. Now I’m wondering if this school has something to do with it. Thinking about it more, everything seemed so specifically tailored to Jughead’s preferences. Maybe there’s something strange going on at that school. It’ll be a while before we find out, but if this episode is any indication, Riverdale has plenty of wild melodrama in store for us between now and then.
Riverdale airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. on The CW
Previously on Riverdale:
- Riverdale Season 4 premiere recap
- Riverdale Season 3 finale recap
- Riverdale Season 3 Episode 21 recap
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