There is a lot to see on Disney+, which launches this week, but one thing that has us pretty excited is that, as a result of the Disney/Fox merger, every single season of The Simpsons will be up for streaming on day one. At this point it’s fair to say that no animated series has touched the American zeitgeist quite like Matt Groening’s take on family life. Since debuting in 1987, it’s been a linchpin of the network over a staggering 31 seasons and inspired a truckload of tie-in merchandise. Here are our picks for the most cromulent Simpsons toys on the market.
NECA Bart Simpson Figure
Eat my shorts, man. When The Simpsons first hit the airwaves, it didn’t take long for Bart to become the show’s breakthrough character, with catchphrases printed on bootleg T-shirts and politicians complaining about his insouciance and bad behavior. This NECA figure made for the show’s 25th anniversary is one of the best Barts ever put on the market, with exceptional hand-painted details and swivels at the neck, shoulders and waist. If you’re starting a Simpsons collection, you’ve got to go family first.
Mr. Sparkle Statue
One of the all-time greatest moments in Simpsons history comes when Homer learns that a Japanese soap company has appropriated his likeness for a brand of dish detergent. Eventually he learns that the mascot’s visage was actually created by melding a fish and a light bulb, but the damage was done. Mr. Sparkle also showed up in the Simpsons video game, and sharp eyes can catch a box of it on the grocery store checkout belt in the new opening sequence. This wild sculpt captures the magical cleanliness pixie Mr. Sparkle being unleashed from his captivity box and measures seven inches tall.
Get it at Amazon.com
14 Piece Simpsons Figure Set
If you’re going to replicate the entire town of Springfield on your toy shelf (and why would you not), you’re going to need a lot of room for the massive and ever-expanding supporting cast of The Simpsons. Get a jump on the population with this affordable and high-quality set of 14 figurines. You get Homer, Marge, and a couple Barts, but you also get vital friends and foes like Otto the bus driver, Sideshow Mel, Rod and Todd Flanders, and of course Milhouse Van Houten. What’s a Simpsons collection without a Milhouse?
Get it at Amazon.com
Itchy & Scratchy Plush Dolls
The extensive television watching habits of the Simpson family allow the show’s writers to poke fun at lots of different genres, and one of the show’s longest-running japes has been cartoon animal duo Itchy & Scratchy. It’s sort of weird to think that modern kids are growing up without ever watching two animated creatures try to kill each other for laughs, but back in the day this was a major form of entertainment for some reason. Made by Kidrobot, these Phunny Plush renditions of the cat and mouse are perfect for cuddling with at the end of a long day. Sorry, they’re not going to make a Poochie.
Get Itchy at Amazon.com
Get Scratchy at Amazon.com
Funko Pop Moe Szyslak
Did you know that Bart Simpson’s frequent prank calls to bartender Moe are actually based on real-world events? In the 1970s, tape recordings of an anonymous prankster dialing up “Red,” the harried barback at Jersey City’s Tube Bar, began making the rounds. The callers were pretty anodyne, mainly getting Red to call out fake names, but the former heavyweight boxer would respond with disproportionate threats of brutal violence. Funko’s take on the proprietor of Moe’s has everything but his trademark eye twitch, and I don’t think the technology is quite there for that yet.
Get it at Amazon.com
LEGO Simpsons House
It’s always amazing how the geniuses at LEGO manage to contort their building system to so expertly replicate the franchises they work with, and one of the best ever is 2014’s Simpsons house. This kit is a true labor of love, boasting so many references and details that it boggles the mind. The roof removes and the middle of the wall has a hinge so you can open it up and explore all the rooms, and the box comes with a flabbergasting assortment of minifigs and accessories, including the whole Simpsons clan, Ned Flanders, and the family car. You could do a whole couch gag with this in stop-motion if you wanted.
Get it at Amazon.com
NECA Glowing Mr. Burns Figure
NECA has had the Simpsons license for a hell of a long time, and their figure collection has a really deep bench. We’re going to spotlight some of the stranger ones on here because that’s the mark of a true toy head. Case in point: the Mr. Burns as seen in eighth-season episode The Springfield Files, which brought Fox Mulder and Dana Scully to town investigating reports of alien sightings. It turns out to be Mr. Burns, disoriented and confused as a result of the medical treatments that keep his decaying body alive. The figure even glows in the dark without any additional exposure to radioactivity.
Get it at Amazon.com
Comic Book Guy Statuette
The Simpsons has always been plugged into geek culture in its best and worst aspects, and one of the most enduring depictions of the worst is the Comic Book Guy, proprietor of the Android’s Dungeon and possibly the least likeable man in Springfield. With a master’s degree in folklore and mythology, he lords his domain over the plebians of Springfield with an iron fist. This collector’s statue from Dark Horse was made in an edition of 550 pieces and comes with a litho-printed tin box, pinback button and booklet. The statue itself is cast in the classic Syroco style, which we’re sure he could lecture you about for hours.
Get it at Amazon.com
Operation Simpsons
There are plenty of licensed Simpsons takes on classic board games like Sorry! and Monopoly, but for the buck we can’t recommend any but the weirdly hilarious Homer Simpsonized Operation. Based on the Milton Bradley classic from 1965 that uses a low-voltage electrified wire loop to ring a buzzer when the player’s hands slip and their tweezers touch the patient’s body, the Simpsons version has you pulling all sorts of crap out of Homer like a pot belly and bowler’s thumb. He even says one of several trademark phrases when you goof up.
Get it at Amazon.com
Funko Pop Lisa Simpson
Over the years, Lisa has grown from the annoyingly smug older sister to the moral center of the Simpsons universe, providing a role model for all the little girls out there who don’t fit in for whatever reason. A classic middle child, she’s always seemingly starved for attention taken up by her bratty brother and toddler sister, but Lisa’s accomplishments are legion. This Funko Pop rendition poses her with her iconic saxophone, ready to blast out the tunes taught to her by departed blues legend Bleeding Gums Murphy.
Get it at Amazon.com
NECA Matt Groening Figure
Let’s close this out with a little tribute to the man who made it all happen. Matt Groening was best-known for writing and drawing a nihilistic newspaper strip called Life In Hell when Fox gave him the go-ahead to create the animated segments that would become The Simpsons. He would become wealthier than he could ever imagine from it, but as anybody who has ever met him wandering around a comics convention can attest, success did not spoil the dude. NECA made a figure of the man behind the Simpson family and you should place it high atop your toy shelf like a benevolent God looking down upon his creation.
Get it at Amazon.com
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