With Valentine’s Day around the corner and cuffing season in full swing, the new Amazon Dating site is a perfect option for anyone looking for love—and fast.
Thumb through a variety of singles (ranging in age, price, and user ratings), available to order with free one-hour shipping through your Prime membership.
Like the look of 19-year-old Jonathan, whose personal, non-shared subscriptions include Netflix, Hulu, HBO Now, SHOTime, Disney+, Quibi, CBS All Access, Amazon Prime Video, Apple TV+, YouTubeRED, and Fubo TV?
In stock for only $9.99, he goes to therapy weekly and won’t get jealous if your best friend is a guy who is really hot and successful.
Or splurge on Katherine, a 35-year-old who leases a Tesla Model 3, owns every Glossier product, and is “upfront about her dad issues.” Her $299.99 price tag includes free delivery today and complimentary returns.
Don’t forget to choose your preferred height and “Love Language” before checking out.
The spoof site featured in real advertising across New York and Los Angeles (via Suzy Shinn/Twitter)
The spoof site—a parody of Amazon’s get-anything-quick approach, with a hint of Facebook Dating—is a treasure trove of Easter eggs. (No spoilers!)
Amazon Dating’s FAQ page answers any queries you may have, like whether the platform is real (it’s not) and whether it actually works (it doesn’t).
It was created (for reasons still unknown) by filmmaker Ani Acopian, songwriter Suzy Shinn, artist Morgan Gruer, and Thinko Animation Studio. The team did not immediately respond to Geek’s request for comment.
No money is ever exchanged, and no attractive hipsters will ever show up at your doorstep at an allotted time (unless you’ve made other arrangements).
Find more than 20,000 results for ‘hot singles near you’ (via Amazon Dating)
Anyone can, however, apply to be featured on the site: Just submit your name, email address, Instagram handle, a short description, and a photo.
After spending some time poking around the site, I’m still not sure what to make of it. It gives off what Geek sister site Mashable called “hella dystopian vibes,” with its Black Mirror-esque star ratings and arbitrarily assigned pricing.
But there is also an element of fun: The cream of the crop get tagged as Amazon’s Choice or Best Seller. And the customer reviews are a riot.
Plus, with speedy Prime delivery, there is plenty of time to shop before Feb. 14.
More on Geek.com:
- Sharon Stone’s Bumble Dating Account Reinstated After Confusion
- Match App’s Dating Coaches Are Here to Ease Your Nerves
- Cows Now Have Their Own Tinder-Style Dating App
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