Hey, did you know a new Riverdale spinoff series starts this week? Because The CW wants to make absolutely sure you know. Not only does it pop up a little ad in the corner every few minutes, it also dedicates a significant chunk of this week’s Riverdale to introducing the spinoff. I’m talking, of course, about Katy Keene, the New York-based soap opera that Riverdale shuttled Josie off to. I’m sad we’re not going to hear anymore Josie and the Pussycats songs on Riverdale, but it’s not like the show ever wanted to do anything interesting with her.
Josie doesn’t make an appearance in this episode, which acts as an introduction to Katy Keene. Veronica heads to New York City for an interview with a recruiter from Barnard College. Her parents also have business there, which looks like it’s going to be a thing for about two seconds. Then the episode forgets them almost entirely. Instead, Veronica runs into Katy and the two catch up. Katy takes Veronica shopping and we get an idea of what her show will look like. Basically, a much richer-looking Riverdale, but with fashion and music instead of murder. Eh, pass.
Lucy Hale as Katy Keene and Camila Mendes as Veronica — Photo: David Giesbrecht/The CW
Veronica nails her interview, which we don’t see, despite going out to a drag dive bar with Katy the night before, which we also don’t see. This story is only here to introduce us to Katy and entice us to watch the premiere. While they’re catching up, Katy tells Veronica about how her mom got sick and died. The news causes Veronica to rethink her relationship with her parents. She asks them to help move her into her Barnard dorm, and starts using the last name Lodge again. So are we just done with the whole rum war story? Or are we picking it back up next week? I’m confused.
It’s weird to throw such a deescalation into one of the season’s ongoing stories. We’re halfway through the season, this is when the ridiculousness should be ramping up, not dropping. This isn’t the only story that goes through somewhat of a deescalation, either. Jughead’s duel turns out to be much more structured than last week’s episode promised, and Betty’s investigation made shockingly little progress. I guess the show realized they only had a month before Jughead’s apparent death, so they had to reset everything back a few steps so they could build in that direction. That’s the only explanation I can think of. The Stonewall prep storylines went off in their own direction to the point where I was having a hard time seeing how it would link back up with the rest of the show. So maybe that was the goal this episode. If it allows for more focused episodes, that’s not a bad thing.
Sean Depner as Bret — Photo: Dean Buscher/The CW
Jughead’s duel with Brett turns out to be a three-round competition than any battle to the death. I knew they weren’t going to kill Jughead just yet (if they really are at all), but I was hoping it would escalate the story a little bit. Instead, it’s just a contest that goes for three scenes and then ends without an obvious path forward. Brett and Jughead each pick a contest, then the rest of the society picks a tiebreaker. Brett picks fencing, Jughead picks bare-knuckle boxing and the tiebreaker is a chess match. Jughead chooses Donna as his second. She trains him in fencing, but Brett still wins that match. Then Jughead knocks Brett out in one punch in the boxing match. This whole time, Jughead’s classmates start shoulder checking him in the hallway. Donna explains they’re insecure about what it means if a scholarship kid beats someone they have more in common with. She’s strangely nice and supportive, considering what Betty finds later.
While Jughead is having his duel, Betty does more investigating into Brett and Mr. Chipping’s death, with the help of her mother. Her investigation gets sidetracked immediately when Moose tells her that Brett blackmailed him with a sextape. Betty realizes he must have tapes of everyone, including her and Jughead. She and her mother decide they have to get that back. After getting caught going through his stuff in the dorm room, Betty guesses he must keep the tapes in the Quill and Skull’s meeting room. She sneaks in there during the chess match and finds a whole bunch of VHS tapes with peoples’ names on them. (What is with this town and people still having VCRs ready to go?) A silent alarm goes off and Brett asks for a recess in the game so he can investigate. He catches Betty again, and explains that the tapes are of the Quill and Skull initiation confessions. He kicks Betty out of the basement, and resumes the game, which Jughead throws to show he’s proud to not be anything like Brett. Not sure how losing does that, but OK.
Madchen Amick as Alice Cooper and Lili Reinhart as Betty — Photo: Dean Buscher/The CW
The more important development is that Betty managed to sneak out Donna’s tape. On it, she sees that Donna’s confession to get into Quill and Skull was the exact same, word for word, as what she had told Betty about her affair with Mr. Chipping. Only it was about another teacher who never existed. Betty surmises it’s a lie that Donna has told many times. Brett may be an ass, but Donna could be the real brains behind all the psychological torture at Stonewall. That’s an interesting development, but it doesn’t give the story anywhere to go. It’s just suggesting that another person might actually be the bad guy when that doesn’t meaningfully change the story at all. So the duel led to nothing, and Betty’s investigation turned up a reveal that doesn’t actually mean much yet. Why does every story feel like a step backwards?
The show even brought Nick St. Claire back for no reason. He shows up at Cheryl and Veronica’s secret Maple Club and Toni serves him without knowing who he is. Cheryl sees him and has a PTSD flashback to the night he almost raped her. I appreciate the show taking the time to explain to its audience what a PTSD trigger is, but the story didn’t have any reason to be here. Why bring this character back? Didn’t Josie and Veronica stomp the crap out of him when they saved Cheryl? Didn’t Hiram arrange for him to get run off the road? There just wasn’t a real need for justice to be served again at this point. I mean, I guess it was funny. Toni drugs him and he ends up in one of Kevin’s tickle porn videos. Oh right, he’s doing clothed tickle videos now. It was a funny bit of comeuppance, I guess, but it didn’t feel necessary at all. Whenever the episode cut back to this story, I kept wondering why we were spending time on this guy at all.
That combined with all the lowering of stakes made for a letdown of a Riverdale episode. I mean, you know something’s wrong when Archie has the most interesting story of the night. An old military buddy of Uncle Frank’s shows up and seems friendly enough until he tries to kill Frank. Turns out Frank worked for a paramilitary contractor after the war, and the company sent this guy to silence their old unit. Archie and Frank work with FP to get the guy arrested, but he breaks out of jail and goes after Archie. He nearly kills Archie at the school, but Frank knocks him out and the feds show up to arrest him. Honestly, this was the only good story to come out of last night’s Riverdale. We got an exciting action-thriller out of nowhere. Again though, it still doesn’t look like it’ll lead to anything. That’s the story of this week’s episode: Even when it’s at its best, to never feels like any of it really matters.
Riverdale airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. on The CW
Previously on Riverdale:
- Riverdale Season 4 Episode 11 recap
- Riverdale Season 4 Episode 10 recap
- Riverdale Season 4 Episode 9 recap
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