One of this week’s most interesting new films is The Three Christs, based on a true psychiatric study of a trio of men in a Michigan mental institution who all thought they were the Son of God and how their delusions worked with each other’s claims. The titular Jesuses are played by a seriously killer trio of actors – Peter Dinklage, Walton Goggins, and Bradley Whitford. It got us thinking about how Jesus is one of the juiciest roles an actor can get, so we dove deep into the library to find 11 badass takes on Christ from cinema history.
The Greatest Story Ever Told
For many years, Max von Sydow was inextricably linked to his portrayal of Jesus Christ in the 1965 epic The Greatest Story Ever Told. This one basically sets the foundation for the whole genre of Christsploitation, merging classic swords & sandals drama with religious messaging. Production was wildly expensive, with 20th Century Fox spending millions before a single frame of film was shot and winding up the priciest film shot in the United States until that point. Von Sydow is a deeply compelling Christ, with tons of gravitas and a powerful screen presence.
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter
When the lesbians of Ottawa, Ontario start to fall victim to bloodsucking depredations, only one man can stand against them: Jesus Christ. As played by Phil Caracas, Jesus is a skateboarding badass who deploys some very impressive kung fu against Canadian atheists, vampire cronies, and the malevolent Dr Praetorious. Accompanied by the gun-toting nun Mary Magnum and Mexican wrestler El Santos (not El Santo, that guy would sue), Jesus needs to tap into powers both supernatural and martial to take down evil. This movie isn’t good by any means, but it’s fun and funny and well worth seeing.
The Last Temptation Of Christ
Martin Scorsese’s 1988 take on the life of Jesus was an incredibly controversial film when it was released, daring to depict the Son of God as subject to mortal frailties as he carried out God’s will on Earth. Willem Dafoe is one of the all-time great choices to play Jesus, as his expressive face gives him a master’s palette to illustrate the chaos in his soul. The titular “last temptation” – to find love and fulfillment in the mortal world and ignore his destiny – is something that we can all empathize with.
Johnny Got His Gun
In Dalton Trumbo’s 1971 adaptation of his bestselling anti-war novel, quadriplegic soldier Joe Bonham lies immobile in a hospital bed, robbed of any way of communicating or sensing the outside world. His brain, trapped inside a body it can no longer experience, takes him through a number of hallucinations and memories. In several scenes, he communicates with a Christ figure played by the brilliant Donald Sutherland. As the pair play cards, Joe communicates his suffering and misery to Jesus, who admits that he can’t really do much about his situation.
Greaser’s Palace
If you’re not familiar with the cinematic efforts of Robert Downey Sr. (yes, Iron Man’s dad), you’ve got a real journey of discovery ahead of you. The maverick director kicked out a wide variety of deeply weird films, but his magnum opus was probably 1972’s Greaser’s Palace, a surreal, scatological Western that also served as an allegory for the Christ story. When Jessy (Allan Arbus) lands by parachute in a frontier town, all he knows is that he’s got to get to Jerusalem. Needless to say, things don’t work out and he winds up performing a few poorly timed miracles and nailed to a cross.
Legend Of The Liquid Sword
This 1993 wuxia comedy doesn’t take anything too seriously, but the ridiculousness in one scene really pushes it over the top. After protagonist Chu Liuxiang, played by Aaron Kwok, loses his supernatural kung fu abilities, he must resort to trickery and cunning to defeat his foes. In a battle with the malevolent Bat Prince and his henchmen, Chu descends from the heavens dressed as the Son of God, complete with a massive cross. He threatens to defeat his foes with “Jesus punches,” which manifest as massive explosions courtesy of buried explosives. Bold strategy, but we’ll allow it.
Superstar
Is there anything Will Ferrell can’t do? In 1999 SNL-derived comedy Superstar, he plays Sky Corrigan, the most popular boy at St. Monica’s Catholic school. But when protagonist Mary Katherine Gallagher needs to work up the nerve to enter the school talent show and win a trip to Hollywood, Ferrell does double duty as a hallucination of Jesus who appears in her bedroom carried on a glowing beam of light. He’s a self-admitted delusion of her subconscious created to help her deal with her problems, but ends up being helpful anyways.
The Miracle Maker
This 2000 biopic about the life of Christ stands out from the pack for a few reasons. First off, the entire thing is animated in Claymation, like the world’s most depressing California Raisins commercial. And secondly, the producers recruited a surprising all-star voice cast for the project, including William Hurt, Alfred Molina and Ralph Fiennes as Jesus himself (in the English version – there was also a Welsh-language take, further upping the oddness). It’s a trippy and intense take on the famous story that is definitely worth seeking out.
Ultrachrist!
This gleefully stupid flick isn’t a good movie by any means, but the lengths it goes to in selling its “Jesus in the present day” storyline are bizarrely admirable. When the Son of God returns to Earth two centuries after his crucifixion, he finds he can no longer relate to mortals like he did in simpler times. So, drawing inspiration from pop culture, he dons a shiny leotard and reinvents himself as a superhero. An evil Parks Commissioner resurrects some of history’s greatest villains to take Ultrachrist down. It’s a wild and absurd cheapie that’s well worth checking out.
Life Of Brian
Monty Python’s pisstake on the New Testament is a hilariously disrespectful tale that stars Graham Chapman as Brian Cohen, born on the same day as Jesus and constantly mistaken for the Messiah, to increasingly ridiculous ends. When he finds fame by swiping some of Jesus’s teachings, Brian winds up nailed to a cross as well. Kenneth Colley plays Jesus in the film, and he doesn’t get too much screen time, but the film’s narrative wouldn’t move without him so Life of Brian deserves a spot on this list.
Bad Lieutenant
Abel Ferrara’s unimaginably gritty 1992 drama stars Harvey Keitel as the titular crooked cop, who pumps himself up with cocaine while turning a blind eye to crooks in the Bronx that pay him tribute. As he investigates the sexual assault of a nun, his double life starts to eat away at his sanity until a climactic moment where he hallucinates the figure of Christ in a church and begs for forgiveness. Whether he deserves it is another matter, of course, but the way he deals with the rapists when he catches them might make you a believer. Actor Paul Hipp, who plays Jesus, was a mainstay of NYC underground films in the late 80s and early 90s.
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