‘Doctor Who’ S12, E5: The Curveball and The Judoon ~ Digital Library

This article contains spoilers for “Fugitive of the Judoon,” episode five of Doctor Who season 12.

Where do I even begin?

The anticipated return of the Judoon brought more than plodding speech and laser-beam guns.

“Trigger-happy” mercenary police are targeting 21st-century Gloucester (“Gloss-ter”)—a cathedral city in southwest England (where scenes from various Harry Potter movies were in fact filmed).

But who are the rhinoceros-headed aliens hunting? And why can’t Chris Chibnall stop stealing Russell T. Davies’ jokes?

Jo Tro Do Plo Plo No

To ro plo tro bo lo flo (via BBC)

A platoon of Judoon first appeared on the Moon in season three opener “Smith and Jones.”

These six-and-a-half-foot-tall humanoid rhinos aren’t exactly the calm creatures you might find crazing at the zoo.

The alien race is known for their strict obedience to the law and brutal efforts in maintaining it: They stomp around, scanning and marking humans to distinguish them from whichever intergalactic fugitive they’re contracted to apprehend.

All signs point to Lee (Neil Stuke)—the snarky, evasive husband of local tour guide Ruth (Jo Martin), who’s frankly having the worst birthday of her life.

But when Lee is assassinated by a goth Ariana Grande, all eyes turn to the birthday girl.

Doesn’t Even Have a Bar!

Sonic screwdriver to the rescue (via BBC)

Responding to a Judonese warning transmission, the Thirteenth Doctor, Yaz, and Ryan arrive as the Judoon surround the Clayton’s home, heavy-duty weapons primed for attack.

Grandpa Graham, meanwhile, goes missing—beamed onto a stolen spaceship piloted by none other than our favorite dashing Time Agent.

John Barrowman’s surprise cameo earns more screen time than his role of “delivering the fateful message” really requires. But who am I to complain about a Captain Jack Harkness lovefest?

The conman, last seen on Doctor Who in “The End of Time,” went on to lead spin-off Torchwood—co-produced and co-written by Mr. DW Showrunner himself.

“Seriously, three of you?” he says, confounded by the triad. “I had a dream about this once.”

*Swoon*

Hello, I’m the Doctor

Uh oh (Left to right: Jo Martin, Jodie Whittaker, Tosin Cole, Mandip Gill, Neil Stuke) (via BBC)

This twisty-turny, wibbly-wobbly episode throws a lot at the audience.

I was struggling to find the good (aside from CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS!)—until the Doctor digs up her own TARDIS.

Enter Ruth “The Impossible Doctor” Clayton (sporting a stunningly exotic shirt under an almost medieval suit): A former incarnation of the Time Lord even lucky number Thirteen doesn’t remember being.

Which technically makes Jodie Whittaker the second female Doctor—and possibly the Fourteenth version—and Jo Martin the first Doctor of color.

(That is the sound of Doctor Who trolls’ heads exploding.)

Cheesy, But Good Cheesy

Do not mess with the Judoon (via BBC)

Before his inevitable escape, Captain Jack tells the TARDIS trio to “Beware the lone Cyberman.”

(My groans could be heard across town.*)

“At all costs, don’t give it what it wants,” he advises, before disappearing into space and time and sending the companions back to join the Doctor(s) on Earth.

The double-hander from writer Vinay Patel and showrunner Chibnall sets up the rest of this season, promising the (frankly unwanted) revival of the Cybermen, the (very hopeful) return of Cap’n Jack, and a new generation of Time Lords.

Missed Doctor Who episode four? Check out our recap of “Nikola Tesla’s Night of Terror.”

Doctor Who Glossary (for all your British-to-American English needs):

Proper: Something that is truly what it is said to be; genuine
Kit: Clothing or equipment needed for a specific purpose
Knock up: To rouse, summon
Bless: Expressing sympathy

Doctor Who airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET on BBC America.

* I dread the return of one of the show’s most overused characters. But Chris Chibnall surprised me with his skillful sort-of Dalek origin story last season. Maybe he can pull another miracle out of his hat this year.

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