If we’re going to keep using wearable technology to quantify our bodies in increasingly creepy ways, it needs to do more than just help us stay in shape. It can’t just help. It also has to punish. One woman recently experienced the avenging power of Fitbit after inadvertently using the fitness tracker to expose her cheating boyfriend.
An Ex Boyfriend once got me a Fitbit for Christmas. I loved it. We synched up, motivated each other… didn’t hate it until he was unaccounted for at 4am and his physical activity levels were spiking on the app 🥴wish the story wasn’t real. https://t.co/npRkLJYYz0
— Jane Slater (@SlaterNFL) December 5, 2019
NFL report Jane Slater recently tweeted her personal Black Mirror-esque experience where new technology intersected with old issues of male infidelity. The now former couple had purchased each other Fitbits for Christmas as mutual motivation to stay in shape. So they were expected to check on each other’s results. This story was in response to the controversial Peloton ad, by the way.
However, Slater eventually noticed a very suspicious spike in her ex-boyfriend’s physical activity on a random night at 4 AM that wasn’t the kind of exercise she was expecting. If your first thought was “Oh of course his heart rate rose because he’s having sex because he’s cheating on you” then congratulations because that’s exactly right.
Now there are plenty of reasons for Fitbit to record strange activity at night that has nothing to do with being a cheating bastard. As Insider reports, sleepwalking or bad dreams could also be the culprit. However, based on replies to Slater’s story, Fitbit-based cheating fiascos are unsurprisingly, unfortunately common.
For a faithful Fitbit of your own, our picks include the Fitbit Charge 3 and Fitbit Versa Lite. And if you want to use tech to purposefully tell your partner you’re DTF, check out these sex buttons.
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